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Exhaustion

Though I realize it is now into the wee moments of tomorrow as I sit down to blog for the day... and my bed is calling my name so loudly I can almost FEEL it... it is still today to me.

My sweet little baby Z was up most of the night last night. I'm really not sure why-- could be teething... could be the stuffy nose she has recently acquired... could be just plain crabby. She is still sleeping in our bedroom most nights- at 6 months old- I know, I know... she should be in her crib in her own room. I just can't make myself WANT to go get her in her room in the middle of the night when she's fussy like this. She does sleep in her own bassinett but right next to my side of the bed. I kind of like hearing her breathe at night, being able to reach over and hold her hand as she sleeps, and I do enjoy the ease of scooping her up to nurse if she is needing to. Anyway, it felt like last night would never end-- and even now, my brain is fabricating the sound of her crying.

I would personally not recommend exhaustion as the way to start a day... nor would I recommend sleeping late...both of which became my reality because of course, baby Z decided that 7 am was a FABULOUS time to decide to sleep well-- and in my state of sheer exhaustion, I made a horrible error in judgement and allowed myself to sleep too. This fantastic combination resulted in a snappy and short Mama who was then rushing like CRAZY to get the 3 bigger kids to school on time. They barely made it there with 2 minutes to spare. I say all this not to feel sorry for myself... just to attempt to effectively document my morning...

The rest of my day was busy, busy, busy. I feel like I have a LONG list of things I should be doing while really all I am doing is thinking about and wishing I could just take a nap. Thankfully tomorrow (today, actually) doesn't have anything pressing on the agenda and though I would love nothing more than to sit and DO nothing, I suppose I will begin to tackle the list of things I should REALLY get done.

God, please give me the grace to do what needs to be done. Please give me patience and grace to extend to others... especially to the 5 little others I influence every day. Help me to serve my husband... and to be thankful for all the crazy in my day. Thanks for all the blissful you gave me today-- even though I didn't give it much thought. And sleep-- even if I don't get much-- please help me to feel like I got more than enough. I'm giving you my today-- and my tomorrow-- please help me not to take them back. And thanks for loving me... even when I'm cranky and tired and moody and snappish-- and for loving me enough to convict me of this. I love you, I choose you, I praise you.

Comments

  1. Ben and MicahFebruary 23, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    Yay, Jenn. You're so transparent. This is your life. This is you. You're an abandoned lover of Jesus with so much to offer the beautiful family you've been given. I'm so proud of you. :-) Love ya!
    ~Micah Joy

    ReplyDelete

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