Be Still

            

What does it mean to Be? Be seems like such an elusive word to me at times. What do you think of when you hear that?

Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.

            The focus here is “Be still.” In this culture of busy busy busy— it’s almost a competition of who is the busiest. Who here knows that person?  That person who is always “busy”? Maybe that person is you. Maybe you’re the one who has forgotten what it’s like to be still.   Why has busyness come to symbolize how we are doing in life? If we are busy, we must be important. We must be so “in demand” that we can’t even manage our schedules. There is no longer time for quiet stillness.

            I have six kids. I have a husband of 18 years. I homeschool. I work part-time as a Director of Worship Ministry for a church with two campuses and I manage 45 volunteers. This last spring, I was also a small business owner. I’m sure you can imagine that I hear the question “How in the world do you do it all?!?” quite often. My response is always the same. I have had to become a good manager of my time. I have had to intentionally choose where to spend my time and evaluate what I say ‘yes’ to.

            Most days I do okay. But there are days I fail. Miserably. Those days I know I need quiet stillness more than ever. I have learned that I have to intentionally create margin in my life. I have to have time where I can simply be still. I have learned to protect that time for my own spiritual, emotional, and physical health. Only when we take time to be still, can we reflect on who God is, we can remind ourselves who is in control. Are we? Or is He? Do we bring our schedules and our plans before Him? Do we truly seek His will in our every day? Do we guard our “yeses” so that we say “yes” to the things He desires for us?

            The other part of this is the motivation of my heart. Why am I busy? Am I overcommitted? What is my capacity? Am I busy saying yes to fulfill some deep need within myself to be acknowledged or recognized? Let's face it, all of us want to be needed. We all want to be wanted. I will tell you, making sure my motivation/drive is focused in the right direction makes adjusting my schedule and commitments so much easier. When I am actively about the Father’s business, I find time to breathe and joy in whatever task is before me.  

   

Gen 1:27 –So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

            Let’s think about this for a moment. WE are created in HIS image. When we think about what this truly means, we should all take a moment to really reflect on that truth. What does this mean to you? What should it mean?

When we engage in negative self-talk—or negative talk about each other (or shall we just call it gossip?) we are, in essence, dissing God’s own personal creation. Not only his creatively unique creation, but that which was created as a reflection of himself. Let that sink in a moment….. He created us looking into a mirror at himself. He lovingly gave us characteristics that are unique to who He is. It’s how He can extravagantly love each of us fully, uniquely, and completely. When I think about my kids— and remember there are 6 of them-- each one of them holds my heart completely. I could never choose any one of them above another. The intelligence of my oldest to the wildly abandoned freedom of my youngest. They are unique, beautiful parts of my husband and I. In view of this, I cannot even fathom the Father’s love for His creation. I love how in 1 John 3:1 it says “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we would be called children of God! And that is what we are!” I love the word lavish here…. Lavish means expended or produced in abundance, marked by profusion or excess, to pour out to the point of wastefulness. So much love that it is wasteful. 

We are bearers of God’s image.….. WE are BEARERS of GOD’S IMAGE. We are all walking around reflecting specific attributes that are unique to God. This is a beautiful revelation. There is no comparison in His eyes. He doesn’t look at you and think “Man, you’re pretty great but see her over there? I really knocked it out of the park with that one.” We all bring unique perspective and experience to every situation. We all minister from a place and a journey that is as unique as we are. I love that Theodore Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy”.  Let me repeat that  …. Comparing only steals our joy. 

Growing up with 3 sisters, two older and one younger …. Comparison was a part of our daily lives. Competition was fierce. I remember much of my growing up being driven by my need to be “special”, to be uniquely loved. Why couldn’t I be like my sister Joy? She was outgoing, smart, fun. I held her on a pedestal. Why couldn’t I be like Harmony? She can be friends with anyone. She is a peacemaker. She has the gift of purity and innocence. I love that about her. She is able to diffuse situations so easily. She has a genuine sweetness about her. Or why couldn’t I be more like Tiffeny?? She was the youngest. Loved just for her spunk. That girl can speak her mind. And everyone loves that about her. She loves adventure and is unafraid to be who she is. I struggled to find my place. All I could see was what I was not. And that wasn’t good enough. I’m about to get real personal here….. I sank deeper and deeper into a trap called Performance. Wherever I was, whether it was at home or at church or at school, I became the best at performing. If I thought you wanted me to be funny…. I would be funny. If I thought being serious and introspective would make you love me, I would be that. I would be whatever I thought you wanted me to be. Just to be accepted. Just to receive recognition—which I mistakenly perceived as love. All my sisters played clarinet… I played the flute thinking it would set me apart enough that I would be loved more. All my sisters played softball, I ran track. I did whatever necessary to have anyone be proud of me. And yet, the more I did, the less loved I felt. All this comparison and striving only made me feel more lonely and isolated. It only made me sad and exhausted as I worked harder and harder to make other people happy. I was terrified to disappoint anyone. I viewed failure as the end. If I screwed up, it was over. Done. There wasn’t a way back from that. Even if forgiveness was extended, I couldn’t forgive myself.

Our default as women is to compare. I’m calling this one out right here, right now. Comparison is sin. Plain and simple. You need to know this realization did not come to me overnight. I didn’t wake up one day to discover this trap of Performance no longer had a hold on me. I didn’t wake up one day knowing who I am and who God created me to be. This journey required a great renewal of my mind.  

Romans 12:1-8 says, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in is teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness."

When I was 18, I started seeing a counselor. It was the first time in my life I actually said what I was thinking. Out loud. In front of someone else. Like, I’m talking, loud enough for her to hear me.  This dear, sweet woman listened and loved. That’s all. She simply loved. No matter what came out of my mouth, even as I began to uncover the ugliness of the sin I had been captive to, she loved me. She pointed me to Jesus. She taught me how to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5) She spoke the truth of the Word of God over me. And slowly, the revelation of who I am in Christ began to come alive in my heart. I began to be me. I told my fiancé (now my husband) that I really hated being called Jenny. True story. He called me Jenny for almost 2 years before I told him I didn’t like it. I accepted that I don’t like peanut butter – a travesty, I know. I embraced that I am a morning person. Like, get up on the bed and sing songs kind of morning person. I am empathetic. I love deeply, with my heart wide open. I am fiercely loyal. I am thoughtful. I like to remember details about people to show I care. I love to laugh. I have an awkward sense of humor. I like to write. Words are meaningful to me.  I love to travel but I equally love being home. Beyond all these things, I embraced who I am in HIM and I had JOY. Hard things still happened but I had deep, unshakable joy in who He created me to be.

I recently read a book called  “Without Rival” by Lisa Bevere. This book hits this subject hard and with great scriptural truth. We are each created without rival. There is no other just like you. No one can love others the way you do or can minister to hearts just how you can. What you have to offer is unique and exceptional because that’s how God created you! We are all part of the same body but have different functions. Even those of us who have similar “gifts” have a beautifully significant place. A unique perspective that is only yours. When our focus is on God and who he created us to BE, we embrace the fullness of His heart for us. We are inifinitely more effective in ministry.

Friends, we need to start seeing one another as part of the same body. We are all on the same team! Stop comparing. Instead of looking at what someone else has and wishing that was us, we need to ask God to show us who we are. We need to be each other’s biggest cheerleader. Imagine what would happen if we all stepped up and encouraged one another in the gifts we each have! Our impact on the world around us would be profound. It is against the grain of this world, for certain. To truly rejoice with one another, to spur one another on in the most genuine display of love. We cannot even hope to do this if we are not secure in who we are in Him. He is the very thing that gives our lives meaning. He is the very thing that makes us unique and special. He is the One who calls out the greatness in us that no one else can even see. Some of our greatest worship is honoring God with the beautifully unique gifts He has given each of us and allowing Him to use those gifts for His glory.

I love watching others blossom into who God created them to be. I love seeing people embrace His heart for them. Watching this process fills me with pride. I’m so proud of them… which sounds so silly but it’s so true. I find myself smiling like a crazy person and welling up with tears because they are DOING IT. They are running the race set before them and God is honoring that in huge ways! I love love love that.

Romans 12:9-18 says "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

I used to blog consistently. Someday I hope to create more margin to have time again to just write. The other day I was looking through all the posts- both published and unpublished on my blog- thinking about what is really on my heart to share. And the one that stands out to me starts "This year has been a tough one." And that was true then... and so true now.

That day marked 6 months since my husband Miah lost his job. Six months. Those 6 months felt like a lifetime. I didn't even know it would be 4 more months. That we would walk that road for 10 months.

"I am confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." -Psalm 27:15

God is so good. Always. Those were some of the most trying months for me. Reaching beyond where I was and the circumstances surrounding me. Choosing to crawl up into His lap knowing that choosing not to worry is always better. That trusting is infinitely better than doubt. Faith comes to us so easily when things are going well... when we aren't overwhelmed by the hurt in this world. And then, on the flip side-- when things are hard-- like watching your child lay helpless in a hospital bed not knowing what you’re truly facing -- faith gets hard. Intentionally choosing trust becomes a choice that requires energy and immeasurable faith.

I know on the other side of trials is a beauty that we cannot even fathom. There is a grace, a deeper understanding of who God is and who we are in Him, and a restoration that is miraculous to see. It’s the journey to get there that is overwhelming and painful. I've walked that road so many times. Straight through the fire. Where everything hurts and it seems like any moment you will be overcome. And yet in that deep pain, that intense wondering, He is there. His arms wrap around -- His love gently begins changing what needs to change. The most beautiful thing? He is so gentle -- its US-- we are the ones who let roots grow so deep they are incredibly painful to remove. And yet, He is tender with us. He gently prunes and uproots what I hold tightly to as truth to show me what is real. The truth of who I am in Him. That whatever I have had spoken over me holds no weight compared to the way He sees me.

The beauty of this painful learning is worth every ounce of heartache. We have to know it was all worth it. That what we walked away with is precious. The learning we did, the change that could only have come from such circumstances, is valuable. Not just to us, but to Him. Our pain is never in vain. Our heartache is never unseen. All of it matters to Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When I am weak, then I am strong. What a concept. In this culture, this day of highlight reels and only allowing others to see our filtered 'every day', we must choose to go against the grain. To know that in our weakness, His strength shines so brightly. That when we allow ourselves to be real about where we are, He is allowed to step in and be all we need. He shines His glory all over our circumstance.

When we take time to be still, we can know who God is in a deeper way and we then allow for greater revelation of who we are in Him. We are able to actively participate in a renewing of our minds.

“Because he is love, I am loved and I can love.

Because he is life, I am alive.

Because he is able, I am capable.

Because he is my brother, I am God’s daughter.

Because he is almighty, I am mighty.

Because he is healer, I am healed.

Because he is wisdom, I am wise.

Because he is, I am.

Because of who he is, I am who he says I am.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. “ – Lisa Bevere Without Rival