Crazy Blissful Moments

One of my very favorite things in the world is that moment after nursing (any of my babies... not just baby Z-- though she is the reason I'm bringing it up ;)) when they look up at me, lock eyes with me, and sweetly smile..... then roll over (when nursing in bed) and snuggle in peaceful slumber. Baby Z's tiny little bum sticking up with her little feets tucked under her and her sweet hand still holding on to my night shirt. I just wanted to leave her there and snuggle right up to sleep. But, I scooped her up and snuggled her all the way back to her crib-- and stared at her for a good 20 minutes, just watching her sleep..... totally a blissful moment. And in my heart, I was overcome with thoughts/prayers about who she will grow to become... praying she will grow up to love Jesus as much as I do-- that she will be a servant to others-- that she will seek to find everything she is in Christ . Such sweetness and blessing my children bring to me. Just yesterday afternoon, we had s...

Though now I'm over a day behind in blogging.... I have to remind myself there is grace... that my life doesn't always allow for an hour or more sitting at the computer to sift through my day. With that being said.... There is plenty rolling around in my head and heart right now. The last few days have been so busy-- and yet I am absorbing so much. Sometimes I wish my brain/heart could just turn off and I could coast through the busyness. And again, I say that, but can't imagine it any other way-- and for the most part, I'm actually thankful God created me the way I am. I think where I get hung up is the fact that God has given me the gift to "see" people..... to see their hearts when they share their lives, to see desires/hurts/doubts-- and to feel those things with them-- and yet sometimes I feel unseen. I am always thinking about how what I say will affect someone else-- and in a lot of ways this makes it really hard for me to talk about how I'm fee...

So.... yesterday..... We have been moving things around in the house. Switching kids' rooms around-- giving the boys a bigger room downstairs and moving the eldest upstairs (which she loves). Everyone is enjoying their "new" digs. Now we have to REdecorate.... and have be REpurposing several items of furniture and other things that we no longer are using. Alas, my house is a disaster-- and overwhelmingly so. I hate the feeling of disorganization and disorder. I also hate clutter. My house is pretty much all of the above right now. My temptation ? To say "Forget it" and leave it as it is. My reality ? I will go CRAZY if I leave it one more day. The process is slow.... involving sorting through piles of 'stuff' and getting rid of 'stuff'. I LOVE getting rid of things and keeping life as simple as possible. I am totally a minimalist-- so much so that sometimes I get way overzealous and throw things I later wish I would have kept. Baby Z has also...

This morning started out way better than yesterday's. Little baby Z only woke once last night--- and woke up happy at 6:30 am, ready to start the day. Unfortunately, waking up too early only causes her to be crabby tired later on... and so now I have laid her down for a nap... thankful that she goes to sleep so easily. Wait... Let me rephrase... she goes to sleep so easily when she is laid in her own bed -- or on my bed. Sort of picky that way-- but I know I love my own bed too.... can't blame the girl. Anyway ...... I decided it is better for me to sit when I can to write, rather than trying to recap the day all at once at night. Makes for more of an "as the day goes along" entry rather than getting hung up on one thing. This morning I am just so thankful for new mercies. God reminded me of Lamentations 3:21-25 which says "Yet I still dare to hope [I dare to hope- meaning hope isn't always easy for me] when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord n...

Though I realize it is now into the wee moments of tomorrow as I sit down to blog for the day... and my bed is calling my name so loudly I can almost FEEL it... it is still today to me. My sweet little baby Z was up most of the night last night. I'm really not sure why-- could be teething... could be the stuffy nose she has recently acquired... could be just plain crabby. She is still sleeping in our bedroom most nights- at 6 months old- I know, I know... she should be in her crib in her own room. I just can't make myself WANT to go get her in her room in the middle of the night when she's fussy like this. She does sleep in her own bassinett but right next to my side of the bed. I kind of like hearing her breathe at night, being able to reach over and hold her hand as she sleeps, and I do enjoy the ease of scooping her up to nurse if she is needing to. Anyway , it felt like last night would never end-- and even now, my brain is fabricating the sound of her crying. I would...

So, for my own sake, I decided to start more of a personal blog-- a sort of journal-- well, let's face it..... I really just wanted to start fresh. :) I am committing to myself to blog once a day, not only for my own sanity, but also to capture some of the moments of my everyday-- some of my deeper thoughts and feelings-- not only so I can look back and remember what this time in my life was really like.... but to also hold myself accountable -- to growing in my walk with God. These are my 5 beautiful , sweet children. I love each of them so uniquely and completely-- it doesn't seem possible to love them all so much. I wish I could say the kids you see above are exactly as you see-- every moment of every day.... no, I take that back... I don't wish I had kids like that. Perfection is so overrated. Instead, I celebrate the reality of my every day- and that is this . Most of the time, I have no idea what I'm doing. Parenting is so flying by the seat of your pants. No ...