Today we celebrate Zeah's first year of life.... it is so bittersweet how fast time flies. I honestly love every single stage of life the kids go through-- there is so much to celebrate, so much joy in every moment. Today, I'm full of memories and anticipation for what God has in store for sweet Zeah's little life.
One year ago..........
I woke up like any other day... a bit tired out. :) We had been invited to the pool to meet up with Miah's sisters and mom for an afternoon of swimming. I have to admit I really didn't want to go.... we had 10 puppies to feed, I had to still pack my "bag" for the hospital, and it was going to be a hot one. I didn't have dinner planned and knew going to the pool meant putting everything else on hold-- that I would have to go to the store later with all 4 kids in tow AFTER swimming. But, the kids really wanted to swim with all their cousins... so I sucked it up, did puppy chores, and got everyone's gear packed up... along with snacks for the pool and any other "incidentals" we might need. My bag sat on the chair downstairs, open, totally empty, waiting to be filled with clothes, books, and anything else I would need at the hospital. The only positive thing I could see was that the laundry was all done (the last load in the dryer), and the house was pretty clean.
We left for the pool.... and on the way I mentioned to the kids this could be the last time we do something fun before the baby comes. Sitting at the pool, I moved a chair into the shallow end and watched the kids enjoy their time-- splashing, laughing, and soaking up the sun. I noticed several contractions that made me a bit uncomfortable while I sat. I didn't really think anything of it-- since I was only 37 weeks and 1 day-- and though my babies are always born around the same time, I had many discussions with this baby about how it was okay for her/him to stay in as long as she/he wanted. I brushed off the contractions as Braxton Hicks... which I have a lot of... and let the kids continue to play.
We finished up at the pool and headed back to town. We immediately went to Walmart-- picked up some brats, buns, and ingredients for pasta salad for dinner-- stopped and chatted with a few friends and then headed home. Once home, we let puppies out and fed them-- and someone stopped by with a bunch of sweet corn for us. I started dinner and once again took note of the amount of contractions I was having. Oh well, I thought. I'm sure it's nothing. Miah got home from work, asked how I was feeling, and we recapped our days. I mentioned the contractions, but that it was probably nothing so not to worry.
We sat down to dinner all of us around the table-- I was so excited to have some good sweet corn. We started high/low (we all share at dinner our high from the day and our low) and I took my first bite of the corn. Suddenly, there was a gush of fluid and I said "Oh!" I sat still, staring at Miah for what seemed like forever, and he stared at me "What?!" I looked under the table at the puddle on the floor and said, "Um, either my water just broke or I just peed my pants." His eyes got big and he looked under the table. "Whoa... um, we need to go. Where's the phone?!" The kids were getting nervous and I explained everything was fine but that the baby was coming soon. They were excited and scared... hugging me and asking if I was ok. I went to change my clothes and Miah asked where my bag was.... I told him it was on the chair downstairs... he grabbed it and said "this can't be your bag... it's empty!" I know, I know.... I didn't think I needed it yet.
His mom came over and within the hour we were at the hospital. By then, my contractions were 2 minutes apart and starting to be really uncomfortable. They hooked me up to monitors and determined it was time. Calls were made, our doctor left the movies and our surgeon scrubbed up. I couldn't believe it was time. There was so much anticipation and excitement in the air- I couldn't wait to meet our newest little family member. They wheeled me into the OR, did the epidural, got everything ready, and then Miah sat by me holding my hand as we waited. Within a few minutes, I heard sweet baby cries and Miah told me it was a girl. My eyes filled with tears and my heart with deeper love for this beautiful baby girl who just joined our family. I couldn't wait for them to bring her over so I could kiss her chubby little cheeks and talk softly into her perfect little ears. That first moment you look at your baby-- your eyes connecting for the first time-- and you get to touch their silky soft wrinkly skin.... and you fall so deeply in love all over again... there's nothing like it.
My dearest most beautiful Zeah,
On your first birthday, I am taking a moment to write you a letter, just as I have done for your siblings on their first birthdays. Your presence in our lives has blessed me so much. You may never know how very much I love you-- or how special you are to me. You hold a place in my heart that will always be yours, no matter where you go, or what you do... you will always be my daughter and will always be treasured. Little Zeah, you are so full of life and joy and beauty. You pour these things out on everyone you meet. My prayer for you as you grow is that you will love Jesus with all your heart and continue to allow Him to minister to others through you. I am so blessed to get a front row seat to what God is going to do in and through you-- and the ways He will draw you unto Himself. You are ultimately His. Papa and I dedicated you to Him, to the glory of His name, to the humility that comes with serving Him. Jesus loves you so much Zeah. He chose you-- he knit you wonderfully together in my womb-- he knew you before we did. Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ..." I pray someday you may grasp how wide and deep His love is for you. There is no greater joy than to be loved in the way God loves us. Dear sweet daughter, I know there will be ways I will fail you and disappoint you, but you must always rest in the knowledge that you are loved. In all things. You are loved sweet one. Not just by me and your Papa, but by your Savior-- whose love is perfect and complete. I promise to do my best with God's help to support you and lift you up to Christ, to parent you the way God calls me to, and to encourage you to grow in all the ways He has creatively blessed you. I will never forget your sweet baby smell, the way you always pat my back when I hold you, the way you delightfully snuggle into me, and how you said "Mama" first. I will always remember your adorable smiles, silly faces, the way you love to dance and read, and your antics that make us laugh. I love being your Mama and love watching you grow and learn. You are always in my heart baby girl. I love you. Happy First Birthday from one who loves you deeply. I am blessed by you.
Mama
One year ago..........
I woke up like any other day... a bit tired out. :) We had been invited to the pool to meet up with Miah's sisters and mom for an afternoon of swimming. I have to admit I really didn't want to go.... we had 10 puppies to feed, I had to still pack my "bag" for the hospital, and it was going to be a hot one. I didn't have dinner planned and knew going to the pool meant putting everything else on hold-- that I would have to go to the store later with all 4 kids in tow AFTER swimming. But, the kids really wanted to swim with all their cousins... so I sucked it up, did puppy chores, and got everyone's gear packed up... along with snacks for the pool and any other "incidentals" we might need. My bag sat on the chair downstairs, open, totally empty, waiting to be filled with clothes, books, and anything else I would need at the hospital. The only positive thing I could see was that the laundry was all done (the last load in the dryer), and the house was pretty clean.
We left for the pool.... and on the way I mentioned to the kids this could be the last time we do something fun before the baby comes. Sitting at the pool, I moved a chair into the shallow end and watched the kids enjoy their time-- splashing, laughing, and soaking up the sun. I noticed several contractions that made me a bit uncomfortable while I sat. I didn't really think anything of it-- since I was only 37 weeks and 1 day-- and though my babies are always born around the same time, I had many discussions with this baby about how it was okay for her/him to stay in as long as she/he wanted. I brushed off the contractions as Braxton Hicks... which I have a lot of... and let the kids continue to play.
We finished up at the pool and headed back to town. We immediately went to Walmart-- picked up some brats, buns, and ingredients for pasta salad for dinner-- stopped and chatted with a few friends and then headed home. Once home, we let puppies out and fed them-- and someone stopped by with a bunch of sweet corn for us. I started dinner and once again took note of the amount of contractions I was having. Oh well, I thought. I'm sure it's nothing. Miah got home from work, asked how I was feeling, and we recapped our days. I mentioned the contractions, but that it was probably nothing so not to worry.
We sat down to dinner all of us around the table-- I was so excited to have some good sweet corn. We started high/low (we all share at dinner our high from the day and our low) and I took my first bite of the corn. Suddenly, there was a gush of fluid and I said "Oh!" I sat still, staring at Miah for what seemed like forever, and he stared at me "What?!" I looked under the table at the puddle on the floor and said, "Um, either my water just broke or I just peed my pants." His eyes got big and he looked under the table. "Whoa... um, we need to go. Where's the phone?!" The kids were getting nervous and I explained everything was fine but that the baby was coming soon. They were excited and scared... hugging me and asking if I was ok. I went to change my clothes and Miah asked where my bag was.... I told him it was on the chair downstairs... he grabbed it and said "this can't be your bag... it's empty!" I know, I know.... I didn't think I needed it yet.
His mom came over and within the hour we were at the hospital. By then, my contractions were 2 minutes apart and starting to be really uncomfortable. They hooked me up to monitors and determined it was time. Calls were made, our doctor left the movies and our surgeon scrubbed up. I couldn't believe it was time. There was so much anticipation and excitement in the air- I couldn't wait to meet our newest little family member. They wheeled me into the OR, did the epidural, got everything ready, and then Miah sat by me holding my hand as we waited. Within a few minutes, I heard sweet baby cries and Miah told me it was a girl. My eyes filled with tears and my heart with deeper love for this beautiful baby girl who just joined our family. I couldn't wait for them to bring her over so I could kiss her chubby little cheeks and talk softly into her perfect little ears. That first moment you look at your baby-- your eyes connecting for the first time-- and you get to touch their silky soft wrinkly skin.... and you fall so deeply in love all over again... there's nothing like it.
My dearest most beautiful Zeah,
On your first birthday, I am taking a moment to write you a letter, just as I have done for your siblings on their first birthdays. Your presence in our lives has blessed me so much. You may never know how very much I love you-- or how special you are to me. You hold a place in my heart that will always be yours, no matter where you go, or what you do... you will always be my daughter and will always be treasured. Little Zeah, you are so full of life and joy and beauty. You pour these things out on everyone you meet. My prayer for you as you grow is that you will love Jesus with all your heart and continue to allow Him to minister to others through you. I am so blessed to get a front row seat to what God is going to do in and through you-- and the ways He will draw you unto Himself. You are ultimately His. Papa and I dedicated you to Him, to the glory of His name, to the humility that comes with serving Him. Jesus loves you so much Zeah. He chose you-- he knit you wonderfully together in my womb-- he knew you before we did. Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ..." I pray someday you may grasp how wide and deep His love is for you. There is no greater joy than to be loved in the way God loves us. Dear sweet daughter, I know there will be ways I will fail you and disappoint you, but you must always rest in the knowledge that you are loved. In all things. You are loved sweet one. Not just by me and your Papa, but by your Savior-- whose love is perfect and complete. I promise to do my best with God's help to support you and lift you up to Christ, to parent you the way God calls me to, and to encourage you to grow in all the ways He has creatively blessed you. I will never forget your sweet baby smell, the way you always pat my back when I hold you, the way you delightfully snuggle into me, and how you said "Mama" first. I will always remember your adorable smiles, silly faces, the way you love to dance and read, and your antics that make us laugh. I love being your Mama and love watching you grow and learn. You are always in my heart baby girl. I love you. Happy First Birthday from one who loves you deeply. I am blessed by you.
Mama
Friend, your writing is amazing. I'm praying that you are able to get more time to write. Many people need to read your heart written out. Love you!
ReplyDelete~Micah Joy